What do you give the Redneck who has everything?

I am proud to be an American and affirm that the United States of America is one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. I embrace the historical heritage of the Redneck. This heritage includes men wearing red scarves around their necks while escaping religious persecution in Scotland centuries ago. It includes farmers whose hard work in the sun-drenched fields of this nation's breadbasket burned their necks crimson red while keeping Americans fed. As a Redneck, I work hard and I play hard. As a Redneck, I am able to laugh at myself. In short, as an American Redneck, I have a sense of country and a sense of humor.